Sadness

While there are a lot of good things happening in my life right now it is also a season of sadness.  I've heard more news of cancer and death lately than my heart can handle.  Every time my phone rings at an odd time I am terrified of what news may be on the other line.  So here's a bullet list of families I am praying for.  Mine included.

• My Papaw.  91 years old.  Growing up, outside of my daddy, my Papaw and my Granddaddy were the strongest men I knew.  My mom's dad (Papaw) lived closer to us so we saw him more regularly.  I regularly spent the night there and have such fond memories of sitting in Papaw's lap while he "removed our meanness."  He and my Granny grew a garden that rivaled those of the Troy Bilt commercials.  He was a retired dairy farmer and continued on with beef cattle long after he retired.  The past few months have not been good to him.  He's getting weaker and is started to fall more and more.  The only drugs that keep him from being agitated keep him asleep.  It's hard, watching someone die.  It's even harder knowing they wouldn't want to live like this.  But I just pray that he can be comfortable.  I pray for my mom and her sisters as they watch over him at night and the caregivers who are there during the day.  
• Baby Aiden -- My aunt and Aiden's grandmother are best friends.  I cannot imagine.  His story is eerily similar to my next entry.  But here's to praying the God of miracles performs one and D & S don't have to experience the pain of losing their only child.  Our God is big and no cancer is unnamed in His eyes.  
• Baby Jamesie -- I was just directed to his blog yesterday through another blog I read.  And today he won his complete healing.  But now his mom and dad are left with a larger void.  I am praying for comfort for them as their worst nightmare has come true.
• The family of Lee.  Lee was part of our family.  Not in the DNA sense but in the sense of what really makes family: commitment and stick-to-it-ness.  You see, my Papaw, when he was running his dairy farm needed help.  And Lee was just that.  He worked right by my Papaw up until the retirement days.  In fact I think Lee deciding to retire really pushed my Papaw into it as well.  He and his family remained close and he would often come and visit papaw and just talk farming.  Lee was diagnosed a few weeks ago with cancer and passed away yesterday.  As my mom and I decided last night, for her it was like losing an uncle.  

I know that's not it.  I know that we will always experience suffering as long as we are on this side of Heaven. But for now my heart is heavy with sadness.  It is aching for these families.  And while I know there is plenty of good happening in the lives of myself and those close to me, for now it's the sadness that is heavy on my heart.  So for now I shall pray some prayers, for that is the most I can do for any of these families.